Maybe this latin on my body is making me think...

Imagine life back in the day.

I mean, back, back, way back in the day. Roman times. Things seemend more simple- more fun. It was about eating slabs of meat fresh off the bone, murdering and getting away with it (gladiators.. I'll get to this) and lots of sex. I can think of two things cooler.

I'm lying, nothing is cooler.
Not that I lived in that age, but hey, I watched Rome at least once! And there was a scene, with Cleopatra, where her secretary (see: slave) called in a strapping young man. After a quick introduction, the secretary says, and I quote "the Queen requests that you enter her now".


YO!.......damn.. word? Is that for real? Were these frequently used phrases? Did I miss out on the golden age of dirty talking that sounds sophisticated? Or are the British still engaging in that? Either way, wow. If at some point in my life, a secretary says that to me, I can die a happy man. Of course, in my fantasy, the secretary joins. But hey, we can't all have our cake and eat it too. I hate that saying, whomever came up with that should be shot, at least with a taser.

Onward.

Prisoners = gladiators. What a smart fucking idea. Why waste billions of money feeding these scumbags that we are putting to death anyway. I'm not talking about your run of the mill convict that is in for a little robbery or selling coke to an infant- I'm talking about the scum of the scum. The serial rapists, the serial murderers, those on death row with no hope of coming off. What is the fucking point of keeping these people alive, to kill them??? HONESTLY- cruel and unusual punishment my ass, look what these sacks of shit did to get in there. And yet we continue to waste, and yes I mean waste, taxpayer money on keeping these shitheads fed, clothed, and with some form of interaction and entertainment before ultimately, we still kill them. Because it's humane?? My God. In my perfect world, we bring back gladiators. You think those twisted fucks wouldn't love to fight to the death, for pure entertainment? Think about how much those colliseums filled up, tens of hundreds of thousands? All to watch prisoners fight tooth and nail to survive to fight another day. That was it! How simple, how entertaining, how genius. Save money, in fact, make money by charging! Less crowded jails, speedier death row. It's a beautiful thing. Stupid human rights. Shouldn't there be a time when those are stripped? Maybe I'm crazy, but I bet there are at least 3 of you out there that agree with me.

Men were men back then. Try hanging out with a blowout or a shelf full of products, you would wind up with a sword in your spleen. Man the fuck up, go kill something with your hands and eat it raw. Go please your woman and keep her happy. Go fight in a couple wars and come back with only one scar. Must have been tough to be an alpha male back then, with everyone being so full of testosterone. Women, I bet you miss that too.

Elders were actually the wise ones, not the senile ones. Then again, to be old was to be like 40, but still, it's the idea that counts. The older people were highly respected, not quickly taken advantage of.

Drinking was done as a group- everyone was happy and bar fights were just because everyone wanted to wrestle.

Whore houses were heralded as a great place to meet a good woman for a night.

Life was about furthering the community, not the self. What an unselfish, very naked time. Amen.