Men are always part woman.

This may be hard for some of you to believe but
this blog might be a little abstract, try and bear with me.

I was at a bar lastnight celebrating a friend's 21st birthday. The glasses had cute little sayings on them, apparently I was "Drama Queen" all night. This is completely unrelated to the entire story.

On another note, go figure, women and men drinking together, sex was brought up. But not like hey let's have sex. More like things about sex. The birthday girl, just before all the shots hit her and she started hanging on Jimmy; brought up a good point, shit she inspired a blog. Men determine the sex of the child to be born, it is our sperm that either carries that Y chromosome, or doesn't, plain and simple. So then my fucked up self started to remember, ah yes, we carry male and female sperm at all times. So then I started to get gross. Do you think the sperms flirt with eachother? Granted, they are all out for the same prize, but what do you think they do in their spare time? Sit in a vat of to be ejaculate. Can't be that thrilling, I know I would be looking for an escape. And the last time I saw a group of guys and girls laying in a pool of semen it was Backdoor Sluts 9, and there were midgets running around and a donkey too. It looked like quite the party; though quite a STICKY situation. Oh, I crack me up. Moving on.
So what do you think goes on down there? Maybe they put signs on the dork's back that says "Shoot Me" (warning: this blog might be laden with puns, deal with it). Now here was my one burning question. If they hook up, is it considered incest? What about homosexuality? I mean granted, they are all sperm, and there isn't an anatomy difference going on to determine a square peg to throw in a round hole or two. Maybe they just tickle eachother with their tails. I know you have all been dying to think about this, I just wanted to bring it to the forefront. There must be some form of sabotage, there just must be. You know there are a few sperm down there doing performance enhancing drugs to give them that extra push at the end of the marathon. Granted, most of us do not have Kenyan sperm, so there really shouldn't ever be a favorite to win the race. And a Kenyan would probably just have a 1,732,393 way tie, that could prove ugly.
And what if the sperm about to win isn't into fat chicks? Have you seen the size of that egg compared to our tadpoles? Astonishing. Are they all tricked into thinking they are going to score with some hot broad only to wind up with some rotund picky bitch with a real tough exterior. Not only that, we lose the damn tail too? COME ON!
And how do we convince the female sperm to chug along. Are we telling them that at the end of the race is a non stop Sex and the City marathon? Or a shopping spree at Victoria's Secret? What is the motivation here? Avoiding death, I guess that's a good motivation for me.
One more question- the sperm that are wasted with masturbation, do they scream as they begin to dry up? What kind of life is it to wait for your big day, and then wind up in a tissue in a garbage festering with all your companions. You know there is one smart guy there saying "Told ya". Or if by chance it is spent on a nice girl that swallows, are the sperm excited because it seems all easy and then they see this vat of acid waiting to murder them?

I have come to the conclusion, being a sperm sucks.