More double standards
Equally abstract, yet explained in a way you can enjoy.
So a question came up the other day. If you could go down on yourself, would you? I'm not saying if it hurt like hell and your spine cracked in half a little each time you tried, if you were just missing some ribs or lucky like a dog/cat.
So I asked a couple females. Quicker than I could ask, they were saying "YES BITCH" and slapping me for asking such a dumb question. I didn't quite get the same response from guys. If you ask me, most guys would probably forget about women if they had the ability to pleasure themselves like that, and probably spend all day watching Sportscenter with a mirror, naked on a couch with a beer helmet on inbetween breaks.
And women would probably buy all the candles in the world and try not to drown in the bath or put their favorite songs on repeat and just completely, completely, cut men out of the equation. Wouldn't you all be excited? The rabbit is doing us in enough, nevermind if you could go the extra step. Men would all be fat and lazy, women would all be content with life and unwilling to play any mind games. What a sad, sad world it could be.
But honestly, look at it from an objective standpoint. The same man that would find it to be strange, or homosexual, needs to think about how he currently masturbates. Since it can't be the touching, it must be the fact it is a mouth? I think the big problem would be the huge internal conflict..... SPIT, or SWALLOW? If you spit, do you hate yourself? Are you ashamed after, angry at yourself and sad at yourself? Is it even possible? What if you swallow? Does that cross the line into homosexuality? For nothing else, at least you actually KNOW where it has been! What if you gave yourself an STD? For example- genital herpes has a chance of turning into mouth herpes through oral, and vice versa. What if you were giving yourself head, and wound up with a cold sore in a couple weeks? Do you tell the story? Is that not the most embarassing thing ever? Or is it comforting- "hey, don't worry baby, that came from me, no one else!" What would you tell your girlfriend? "Honey, I SWEAR I wasn't with anyone else but you, and.... myself?!" So is it because women aren't putting anything in their mouths, and don't have to worry about the whole spit vs swallow issue, that makes it easier for them to accept? What if you choke on your own pubic hair? My God, I'm glad to have a ribcage. Too many questions, so little time.
I think there should be a sketch comedy about this all. I have to be the writer, of course.
So a question came up the other day. If you could go down on yourself, would you? I'm not saying if it hurt like hell and your spine cracked in half a little each time you tried, if you were just missing some ribs or lucky like a dog/cat.
So I asked a couple females. Quicker than I could ask, they were saying "YES BITCH" and slapping me for asking such a dumb question. I didn't quite get the same response from guys. If you ask me, most guys would probably forget about women if they had the ability to pleasure themselves like that, and probably spend all day watching Sportscenter with a mirror, naked on a couch with a beer helmet on inbetween breaks.
And women would probably buy all the candles in the world and try not to drown in the bath or put their favorite songs on repeat and just completely, completely, cut men out of the equation. Wouldn't you all be excited? The rabbit is doing us in enough, nevermind if you could go the extra step. Men would all be fat and lazy, women would all be content with life and unwilling to play any mind games. What a sad, sad world it could be.
But honestly, look at it from an objective standpoint. The same man that would find it to be strange, or homosexual, needs to think about how he currently masturbates. Since it can't be the touching, it must be the fact it is a mouth? I think the big problem would be the huge internal conflict..... SPIT, or SWALLOW? If you spit, do you hate yourself? Are you ashamed after, angry at yourself and sad at yourself? Is it even possible? What if you swallow? Does that cross the line into homosexuality? For nothing else, at least you actually KNOW where it has been! What if you gave yourself an STD? For example- genital herpes has a chance of turning into mouth herpes through oral, and vice versa. What if you were giving yourself head, and wound up with a cold sore in a couple weeks? Do you tell the story? Is that not the most embarassing thing ever? Or is it comforting- "hey, don't worry baby, that came from me, no one else!" What would you tell your girlfriend? "Honey, I SWEAR I wasn't with anyone else but you, and.... myself?!" So is it because women aren't putting anything in their mouths, and don't have to worry about the whole spit vs swallow issue, that makes it easier for them to accept? What if you choke on your own pubic hair? My God, I'm glad to have a ribcage. Too many questions, so little time.
I think there should be a sketch comedy about this all. I have to be the writer, of course.
posted by official dynasty at
10:30 PM
4 Comments:
i guess im the anomaly because i would never in a million years go down on myself. oral sex is more intimate than actual sex, i think, and i dont really want to be that intimate with myself. the point of intimacy is to be close with someone ELSE, no? also, i think a lot of girls who've told you they would just want you to know how sexual they are because youre a guy and guys obviously like girls who are as overtly sexual as possible (not really). maybe some do, but i doubt it. its because they want to be seen by you a certain way. its oddly flattering, kind of?
oh, and on double standards, i totally agree. the mary kay letourneau bothered me SO MUCH oh my god
Here's the deal I think that men are way more afraid of being gay than girls are. I mean honestly dudes freak out over that shit, of course not all guy are like that and not all girls are fine with it. On that note who says there has to be any spitting or swallowing...? So many of you like the whole "I'll just pull out" game why not pull out if you know when you are going to bust? Come on guys do it to girls and it not over getting a little man chowder in your mouth. So to all you guys saying you wouldn't do it...stop lying you would love it (just pull out, and be sure not to get it in your eye)!
men are "afraid" of being gay because other men are ugly, plain and simple. Women are beautiful, soft, sexy, curvy, and sensitive. Men are rough, jagged, and hairy. MMMMMMMhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i'd much rather be a lesbian too.
Your are Excellent. And so is your site! Keep up the good work. Bookmarked.
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