Online Dating. This should be interesting.

Disclaimer: I do not condone dating because of the internet. But let's be serious people.

Okay, so we all hear this about every day. People talking about meeting others from the internet, and how WEIRD that must be. So I got to thinking. Doesn't everyone use the internet these days? Where ARE we supposed to meet people? These sorts of questions come up when I think about this.

Sites like fucking Match.com making you PAY MONEY so they can MATCH YOU UP with people, that's twisted. Are they the pimps? Does that make you a John? Do I really want to tell my kids that I paid $40 and this computer spit out your mother?

Then I think about where I should meet someone. Obviously the thing that comes to mind is the bar. Okay great, so I'm going to go talk to some good looking woman who has already had 4 drinks in her, screaming so she can hear me, crowded, her friends all trying to do nothing but cock block me for more reasons than need to be discussed; and will I be proud when my kids ask where I met their mother at? "Yes kids, your mother was slamming back tequila shots, puked on the bar, then decided she wanted to slob my knob. 2 weeks of unprotected sex later, you little mistakes were formed!" (assuming they are twins, of course)

So why is the internet meeting deal so taboo? Is it because we automatically associate computers with dorks, weirdos, freaks? Those people aren't looking to meet anyone but other fans of Star Wars and D&D. Is it true only geeks use the internet? Am I missing something here? Valid points- you do not know the person over the internet, they are only typing words to you, it can all be a bunch of bullshit, and you just don't know. Plus, there is the famous shirt, that says "you looked better on myspace". That is to be addressed later. What is the proper way to meet someone? Because anywhere such as the bar, etc- you are meeting them from the outside, in. You are attracted due to appearance or the fact she looks drunk enough to sleep with you. One or both. Is that the way to do things? You know less than nothing about the person. You know they drink, probably often if you meet them at this bar Monday at 3pm. You probably don't know if he or she speaks English or can walk straight, depending on the state you meet this person at. Another common objection is, he or she could be some rapist or murderer. Right, since those same people never go to bars?

I don't know. I'm not saying I'm looking for love online. But to be honest, once you are out of college, single, and working full time, you don't have the same liberties you used to. I can't go get drunk on a Thursday night and try to find some slizzy to make out with. It just doesn't work that way. And with my schedule, I don't even have my Friday nights anymore. Where do I turn? The gym? Please, most of the women there are 40+ and NEED to be there. I would feel strange approaching a female at the gym. You know even less about them, except they like fitness (HUGE FUCKING PLUS) but chances are they have a boyfriend, or will tell you they do because you are a sweaty mess and women don't sweat- they glow.

What are my other options? Let's review. I live in fucking CONNECTICUT. Houses still sit on property around here, I can't reach out the window and high five my neighbor. There isn't much to do, or many places to go. Women also tend to be bitchy in these here parts, maybe I'm picky- but shit, you saw what I'm looking for. Never realized that was too much to ask for. Bars are boring or overpacked, I work and then I workout- my life exists at night, after 9pm, and I'm usually on the computer. And not just to appease you, the fans.

I guess the real question is, when is it going to become normal? There seems to be a trend, especially with Myspace being so popular, of others meeting after talking on the internet, more and more, day by day, by day by day. I was going to take that random and short movie line in another direction but I'll leave it alone, I already lost half of you.

Point is, everyone uses the internet. From the weird to the normal, believe it or not. Not everyone is out looking for love, but if you can find someone that matches your interests, why not bullshit with the person? See what they have to offer. Maybe it's a job, maybe they become a good friend. Maybe you find someone into some random shit you love like skydiving or tattoos and you have a new hetero life partner. Or maybe you find a great mate and you live happily ever after. When is it going to change? When bars first came out, was it weird to meet people from a bar? What about book stores? Wasn't that big before I was born? Let's do that again.


Oh, like promised. The whole "looking better on myspace" thing. Anyone can look good in a few pictures, it's just the truth. Cross eyed people can be staring off to the side. Fatties will just show their boobs, nothing below. Weird loners will just snag pictures with groups of people they don't know. Point is, everyone probably looks better in a few pictures. That's why all my pictures are of my looking like a re-re. Because it can only get better from there, people. And stop being so fucking shallow with everyone else. Maybe she has a heart of gold, it isn't her fault she is a great golfer (huge ass).