Morning Breath

I've talked about morning sex before, I believe we are all in agreement that it is both wonderful, and necessary, to start of a day. But what about the evil that lurks behind it?.... it of course, being your lips. Women make a big deal out of morning breath, it really isn't. Let's put it this way on the taste scale- it's somewhere after vegetable lasagna, but somewhere before someone who just ralphed or smoked a ton of butts. So don't worry about it! (unless you smoke before bed, then it's just old crusty tailpipe combined with morning breath) It really isn't a big deal, but women seem to be self conscious about it. Don't worry, we don't mind. In fact, I am tasting my own morning breath right now, I think it is something like a sour cherry- that's not so bad, is it? Without kissing, morning sex is just a fuckfest, sloppy and completely lacking intimacy--- ladies, I thought you loved intimacy? If we don't kiss you, following orders, your complex about your breath only worsens- then no one is getting laid. So just kiss away, chances are if we are even making out in the morning, we probably taste like eachother's stale sex juices anyway.

My other advice, ladies, without sounding too presumptuous- is to always have a travel toothbrush on you. Even though you may not plan on sleeping over, sometimes alcohol and or fits of passion may cause you to do so. In this case, you don't want to be brushing your teeth with some grimy ass finger, God knows where it was that night. Then you won't just have morning breath- you will have morning death. Granted, when I wake up in the morning, I like to take a little pee pee action, my penis reminds me of that every morning by waking me up like he is ready to go... but he IS ready to go, just not sexually. So I guess we can find a happy medium here ladies. Men want to pee, you want a fresh, clean, mouth that will only be dirty 6 minutes after anyway.

But WHATEVER YOU DO- please don't stop the chance of morning sex because you have issues with the way you think YOUR OWN MOUTH tastes. If ours is that bad, tell us. Shit maybe we should all just keep those little pocket mouth strips by our beds in case.