Rules of... attraction?
I swear I'm not just stealing the title from some movie because I am bored. In fact, I never saw the movie, for all I know it could be about the Catholic Church, and have slow motion replays of altar boys.
That's right people, all this talk of ugly people with glasses, the trends and whatnot; it fueled something else here: attraction. Anyone loyal enough to have read this blog the past couple months also read about what I look for in a woman. It read a little something like this:
Cooks, Cleans, Big Breasts, Tiny Waistline, Doesn't Complain, Watches Football, and is a Mute
I'M KIDDING. Actually none of those were on there, but I'm sure every guy is secretly after that model female right there (minus me, we've talked about the boobs before) But think back to the last time someone tried to set you up, or the last time you even looked at someone twice and thought -I would love to date him/her. Unfortunately, it was probably based purely on looks to start. Isn't that pretty terrible to think about? For way more than one reason.
First off, think of how many attractive people are complete flakes. I'm talking stupid, self absorbed, pricks/bitches, sometimes getting whatever they want because of their square cheekbones or sizeable chest and loving every second of it. How many people can honestly date that type? Well, except for people that are mostly that type- and luckily the couples will often end up that way and other people will be spared. That of course does not apply to the smart golddiggers who rope in some sucker that loves her because she is beautiful and does not care about anything else because he pays for his happiness. But before we begin to stray, back on topic.
What about the first humans to roam this Earth? If you believe at all in evolution, then you believe they were some ugly fucking creatures. And I can't imagine they had distinct, complex personalities to go along with those foreheads and coneheads. Where was the attraction there? Purely animal. Weird random fact you might not know- the reason we have armpit hair and pubic hair is to catch the pheremones our bodies secrete and trap them there. This way a potential suitor would smell our natural chemical deliciousness and cause some fornication. If I had only known years ago the women were into sweaty smelly crotch and pits..... Why do you think perfume was originally invented? But honestly, they were attracted based on instincts and the idea of dominance- which still exists in many other kingdoms- Lions, for example. To be dominant today, and try to impress a woman will leave you labeled a meathead and/or a domestic abuse threat. Sorry buddy, the days of clubbing a bitch and dragging her back to your bachelor cave for some hot sex are long gone.
It is obvious that attraction starts a relationship- but what keeps it going? Besides great sex, it takes good conversation, the ability to work together on things, similar tastes or at least an interest in what the other enjoys- compatability beyond the square peg fitting in the round hole. But it seems like no one really thinks about that- and by no one I mean men never think about that. Women are a little smarter in these cases and can somehow figure out by the size of his hand if he will be a good father or not. Do not question the formulas, just roll with them. And buy their magazines so you can figure out the tricks. Maxim just tries to help you get a threesome with two Swedish women.
My question is- who ever established these "leagues" that we all fit into? And who are we to decide who is in and who is not in our league? Must be tough to get stuck in Pee Wee Baseball your whole life- you are looking at dating your already half inbred cousin with that status. But again, the original thought behind this is based solely on appearance. Then how do these ugly schmucks get these hot babes? Besides money.... must be personality. They say a woman likes a funny guy, why am I still single? (Joking..) Same goes for good looking guys and some scary beast that wouldn't even look good with vodka goggles.
It's sad but true- most of us will not even attempt to look past the initial appearance, and make all sorts of judgements based solely on that. The way the person dresses helps associate them with a group of people, be it rich or poor, ghetto or clean cut, classy or trashy. The car that someone drives also apparently says a lot of them and helps us to form an assumed lifestyle about this person within the first minute you meet him or her. And if that person does not bat in the same league, likely nothing will ever come of it. Maybe you two turn out to be great friends and he or she goes on and starts seeing someone once you realize just how amazing he or she is, and then you're forced to stomp on your own heart- JACKASS. Maybe the world would be a better place if we all were blind or just had really blurry vision- that way the things that make a happy couple, would be the things we still look for in a person.
The rules of attraction are funny, and simple. If you're attractive, you probably get a second chance. If you aren't in the same, purely aesthetic league as our past boy/girlfriends... you are lucky to get a shot at being a good friend. Sad, but true.
That's right people, all this talk of ugly people with glasses, the trends and whatnot; it fueled something else here: attraction. Anyone loyal enough to have read this blog the past couple months also read about what I look for in a woman. It read a little something like this:
Cooks, Cleans, Big Breasts, Tiny Waistline, Doesn't Complain, Watches Football, and is a Mute
I'M KIDDING. Actually none of those were on there, but I'm sure every guy is secretly after that model female right there (minus me, we've talked about the boobs before) But think back to the last time someone tried to set you up, or the last time you even looked at someone twice and thought -I would love to date him/her. Unfortunately, it was probably based purely on looks to start. Isn't that pretty terrible to think about? For way more than one reason.
First off, think of how many attractive people are complete flakes. I'm talking stupid, self absorbed, pricks/bitches, sometimes getting whatever they want because of their square cheekbones or sizeable chest and loving every second of it. How many people can honestly date that type? Well, except for people that are mostly that type- and luckily the couples will often end up that way and other people will be spared. That of course does not apply to the smart golddiggers who rope in some sucker that loves her because she is beautiful and does not care about anything else because he pays for his happiness. But before we begin to stray, back on topic.
What about the first humans to roam this Earth? If you believe at all in evolution, then you believe they were some ugly fucking creatures. And I can't imagine they had distinct, complex personalities to go along with those foreheads and coneheads. Where was the attraction there? Purely animal. Weird random fact you might not know- the reason we have armpit hair and pubic hair is to catch the pheremones our bodies secrete and trap them there. This way a potential suitor would smell our natural chemical deliciousness and cause some fornication. If I had only known years ago the women were into sweaty smelly crotch and pits..... Why do you think perfume was originally invented? But honestly, they were attracted based on instincts and the idea of dominance- which still exists in many other kingdoms- Lions, for example. To be dominant today, and try to impress a woman will leave you labeled a meathead and/or a domestic abuse threat. Sorry buddy, the days of clubbing a bitch and dragging her back to your bachelor cave for some hot sex are long gone.
It is obvious that attraction starts a relationship- but what keeps it going? Besides great sex, it takes good conversation, the ability to work together on things, similar tastes or at least an interest in what the other enjoys- compatability beyond the square peg fitting in the round hole. But it seems like no one really thinks about that- and by no one I mean men never think about that. Women are a little smarter in these cases and can somehow figure out by the size of his hand if he will be a good father or not. Do not question the formulas, just roll with them. And buy their magazines so you can figure out the tricks. Maxim just tries to help you get a threesome with two Swedish women.
My question is- who ever established these "leagues" that we all fit into? And who are we to decide who is in and who is not in our league? Must be tough to get stuck in Pee Wee Baseball your whole life- you are looking at dating your already half inbred cousin with that status. But again, the original thought behind this is based solely on appearance. Then how do these ugly schmucks get these hot babes? Besides money.... must be personality. They say a woman likes a funny guy, why am I still single? (Joking..) Same goes for good looking guys and some scary beast that wouldn't even look good with vodka goggles.
It's sad but true- most of us will not even attempt to look past the initial appearance, and make all sorts of judgements based solely on that. The way the person dresses helps associate them with a group of people, be it rich or poor, ghetto or clean cut, classy or trashy. The car that someone drives also apparently says a lot of them and helps us to form an assumed lifestyle about this person within the first minute you meet him or her. And if that person does not bat in the same league, likely nothing will ever come of it. Maybe you two turn out to be great friends and he or she goes on and starts seeing someone once you realize just how amazing he or she is, and then you're forced to stomp on your own heart- JACKASS. Maybe the world would be a better place if we all were blind or just had really blurry vision- that way the things that make a happy couple, would be the things we still look for in a person.
The rules of attraction are funny, and simple. If you're attractive, you probably get a second chance. If you aren't in the same, purely aesthetic league as our past boy/girlfriends... you are lucky to get a shot at being a good friend. Sad, but true.
posted by official dynasty at
9:45 AM
1 Comments:
this is sooo true.
kinda same on the thinking that all men, well the nice ones, think that all us girls go for the assholes. You should write a blog on that, the stupidity of girls that go for the guy that treats the girl like crap and yet they still "love them". Cause all the assholes have the good looks. Rules of Attraction..
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home