The fun little phrase
It's amazing how someone can preface ANYTHING they want to say, with one little phrase, and it can all be forgive, forgotten, or overlooked. There are many variations of the phrase, but they all start the same, and it baffles me everytime someone feels he or she can get away with it.
"I don't mean to be (a)...." (bitch, asshole, complainer, smartass, rude, cynic, prick, etc.) "...but"
The complete irony in this, of course, is that you realize you are sounding and acting exactly what you are saying that you are trying NOT to be. The other person is clearly setup for what is about to come storming across. If you are coherent enough to realize that what you are about to say, just might come out in the wrong way; or be misinterpreted... would you not consider that a sign?
"Wow, this makes me sound like a burning anus, I better warn him that I am trying not to be one in the first place! Then he will take it like a compliment and we can stroll off into the sunset without his fist inside my face. "
How this ever came about, I have no clue. If you are going to be a raging bitch, just straight up be one. The English language is best at hiding the true meanings behind things said. People will hide behind this phrase and assume all is well because it comes with a disclaimer. Fuck that! You give me some and I'll throw it right back at you. Because, if you truly don't mean to be an asshole, you won't follow it up with the tone and manner of saying what you are about to say. Imagine if this worked in all situations, how easy life would be.
"Hey boss, I don't mean to be rude, but you're a fucking douchebag. Yeah man, you piss me off and when I go home I pray that you die a horrible death and your cunt of a wife marries me so I can have sex with her out of spite and pee on her when I'm done. R KELLY BEYOTCH. But, again, man who pays me, I'm not trying to be rude.... I just had to explain myself."
Wouldn't that just be great! Or my personal potential favorite
"Hunny, I'm not trying to be picky, but that shirt really makes your titties look smaller than they are. And I really would rather my friends not call me out on being part of the Itty Bitty Tittie Committee when you aren't around. So, again, not to be picky, but here are a couple tubesocks." That or anything related to how a skirt makes her look fat or extremely slutty.
But hey, as long as you say the disclaimer! The other party is forced, against his or her will, to waive all rights to being pissed off and punching you in the God damn mouth. Cause after all, it isn't that you are trying to be an asshole, no way. You just want him to know he is terrible in bed but you're okay with it because he still has money. And you have another boyfriend for the places he cannot fill you properly.
And I wonder, do they say something like that in other cultures, within America even?
Hey Paco, I'm not trying to be a dick, but your car is fucking a fucking SPIVIC. Thanks for helping to keep the Mexican stereotype alive. The plastic spinners you bought at Walmart aren't working either. And you might want to take off the Mexican flag seat covers, I don't think it adds value to your '89. And lastly, how do you fit all 12 of your children in that thing when you bring them to sell Chiclets on the corner? Anyway, again, I'm not trying to be a dick. Later Paco!
"I don't mean to be (a)...." (bitch, asshole, complainer, smartass, rude, cynic, prick, etc.) "...but"
The complete irony in this, of course, is that you realize you are sounding and acting exactly what you are saying that you are trying NOT to be. The other person is clearly setup for what is about to come storming across. If you are coherent enough to realize that what you are about to say, just might come out in the wrong way; or be misinterpreted... would you not consider that a sign?
"Wow, this makes me sound like a burning anus, I better warn him that I am trying not to be one in the first place! Then he will take it like a compliment and we can stroll off into the sunset without his fist inside my face. "
How this ever came about, I have no clue. If you are going to be a raging bitch, just straight up be one. The English language is best at hiding the true meanings behind things said. People will hide behind this phrase and assume all is well because it comes with a disclaimer. Fuck that! You give me some and I'll throw it right back at you. Because, if you truly don't mean to be an asshole, you won't follow it up with the tone and manner of saying what you are about to say. Imagine if this worked in all situations, how easy life would be.
"Hey boss, I don't mean to be rude, but you're a fucking douchebag. Yeah man, you piss me off and when I go home I pray that you die a horrible death and your cunt of a wife marries me so I can have sex with her out of spite and pee on her when I'm done. R KELLY BEYOTCH. But, again, man who pays me, I'm not trying to be rude.... I just had to explain myself."
Wouldn't that just be great! Or my personal potential favorite
"Hunny, I'm not trying to be picky, but that shirt really makes your titties look smaller than they are. And I really would rather my friends not call me out on being part of the Itty Bitty Tittie Committee when you aren't around. So, again, not to be picky, but here are a couple tubesocks." That or anything related to how a skirt makes her look fat or extremely slutty.
But hey, as long as you say the disclaimer! The other party is forced, against his or her will, to waive all rights to being pissed off and punching you in the God damn mouth. Cause after all, it isn't that you are trying to be an asshole, no way. You just want him to know he is terrible in bed but you're okay with it because he still has money. And you have another boyfriend for the places he cannot fill you properly.
And I wonder, do they say something like that in other cultures, within America even?
Hey Paco, I'm not trying to be a dick, but your car is fucking a fucking SPIVIC. Thanks for helping to keep the Mexican stereotype alive. The plastic spinners you bought at Walmart aren't working either. And you might want to take off the Mexican flag seat covers, I don't think it adds value to your '89. And lastly, how do you fit all 12 of your children in that thing when you bring them to sell Chiclets on the corner? Anyway, again, I'm not trying to be a dick. Later Paco!
posted by official dynasty at
6:33 PM
1 Comments:
another phrase like that: "with all due respect." they address the same thing you're saying in talladega nights.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home