And in the news....

So recently in the news was a rather tragic story most of you would never see. No, not that Tom Brady is going to be a father. WHO CARES? Plus, anyone that careless with his passes in playoff games obviously wouldn't wear a rubber and make sure his sweetheart is on birth control. Same sweetheart that was nearing the end of her biological clock... that's another topic.

No, no, this one takes place much farther south. Georgia, to be exact (GO BULLDOGS). There currently is a man in jail, who is serving a TEN year sentence, for getting a blowjob. I know, there must be more to it, right? Well.... not really. When this guy was 17 years old, he received CONSENSUAL oral sex from a 15 year old. Okay, still doesn't seem weird, so what's the story?

Well, there are a shitload of weird laws out there, that are just never updated, challenged, or changed, to reflect the changing times. This happens to be a case of a weird law, and a couple poor choices.

Under Georgia law at the time, this was considered aggravated child molestation- and a FELONY for teens LESS THAN three years apart to have oral sex. I know- makes no sense. Especially since it stresses less than three years apart. And, it gets worse- poor guy shouldn't have settled for some dome- it is only a MISDEMEANOR for those same teens to have sexual intercourse. You think that's something they teach in sex ed??
"Now kids, next time you're at a party, with a teenage girl less than three years older or younger than you, and she wants to suck you off.... you bitch slap that ho, say fuck no, and tell her it's penetration or nothing!" I can just envision the t-shirt sales now....

So it gets better. Not only did this guy catch a hummer from some eager 15 year old- it was at a party, in front of people. How many, not exactly sure, but if you check the VIDEO, you're bound to find out. Oh, right, someone videotaped it as well. Not just that, but this poor son of a bitch was #2 of 2 that night. Yep, the video clearly shows her playing wet willy with some other clown, wiping her mouth and sliding over to the next victim. Let's examine the poor choices so far:

This hot shot football player is at some party his senior year. He hears about some drunk freshman going around looking to slurp some baby batter, so he raises his hand... at the same time his buddy does. They decide to shoot rock paper scissors for it, and the stupid bastard chooses PAPER on his first try. Touch luck bro, your buddy took scissors. Shit, so close. But then, little slut in training speaks up and offers to take you both- one at a time of course, she isn't a whore yet. JACKPOT, right? No. Once you learn you are going to be sloppy seconds, WALK AWAY. At least that's what my daddy taught me.

Next, why the fuck would you ever want that videotaped? I can understand if you're hung like a horse, and want the whole class to see how huge you are- but that is a case when the reputation should be able to spread quicker than a copy that clearly shows you were willing and able to let some little girl make you her (hopefully) 2nd of the night. Then you let the copy of the tape get out, as potential blackmail/evidence?? All I can think of is Menace II Society..

So this guy is in jail, over 5 years now, and probably has given quite a few blowjobs himself since this all went down. The girl admitted on trial that it was all consensual and she initiated it. Her father must have been proud, watching that tape in front of a courtroom- judge, jury, reporters... pure class. I'm sure she must be studying a double major now at one of those Ivy-leagues.

If anything is to be taken funny from all of this, it is the name of the lawyer that this guy hired to represent him- AND I SHIT YOU NOT- B.J. Bernstein. AND, B.J. happens to be a female. The irony, the symbolism, that alone, caused me to almost fall out of my chair, you can't imagine that wasn't purposeful, can you????