Unexpected Infamy

It will NEVER not have some form of entertainment. I don't know if any of you losers watch the videos on here, I sure don't. But there will always be uneducated, ugly ass people to rip on. And the other part I like about Myspace, is that I actually get messages from "friends", recommending that I tear apart, or at least address the deformities, of these outcasts in our society. Which leads me to my next trick.


Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. And she's like "Get your own fucking milkshake I'M HUNGRY"

Man, where to start.

First thing I noticed was that she was single- I had to wonder why. Especially since she appears to think she is sexy, with her huge "I'd hit it" sign. Now listen folks, I will always preach that you should have some degree of self esteem. Well, until now. Strike one was living in Kentucky. Don't get me wrong friends, I am sure there are at least 3 people in Kentucky that contribute positively to society. And I don't mean contributions of funny mullet pictures, aiding the National Flannel Society in staying alive, providing the before pictures in dentist offices to scare children straight... etc. Heck I am sure some can even make a killer moonshine that won't strike you blind. But let's be honest. Most are probably making or smoking meth, having sex with cousins that are only "sorta related", say words that don't exist in the English language (I bet ain't is a hot word there), and ----- make me feel better when I watch Cops. What was my point? Oh, right. Short and sweet- no reason for her to have self esteem. Not that I want her binging and purging, I can only imagine the screams coming from her toilet. But, seriously, how slimming can your mirror be? Strike two is actually having a caption where she says she looks sexy. Funny, I thought she looked exactly like a Cabbage Patch Kid. Actually, now that I think of it, she really, really does. Kinda creepy.

MOVING ON- who gets glamour shots these days? You know that is her mother's Match.com picture. Look closely, and tell me that isn't a man with a wig. Those must have been some professional photographers, they forgot to shave her facial hair. How much CZ can one person wear???

My next question- How big is that photo booth they are squeezed into? Mom looks like she is fighting with playdough. You know once ma pulled out of there, a lasting impression slowly pushed out of the mass of human it was just pressed into. And much like silly putty, though it regained shape, it was stuck with a perfect print of mother's finest shirt.

Another quick question- how fucking large was that baby when it was born? Mother must be stuck with a canyon vagina- seriously. Hot dog down a hallway is but child's play next to the subway tunnels that behemoth left behind. That may be the reason that you don't see father in the picture. That or he got sick of kissing his own sister and moved onto extended family. But hey, I am just speculating here.

What is sad, and what I am looking for, was a full body shot. I know most of us have seen cankles (for those of you who don't know, that is the blending of the calf, and the ankle) But have you ever seen a booble? There is no way there is any distinct definition of where one body part ends, and another starts. I don't know what is worse- that I am picturing her naked right now, in order to come up with this comparison- or that someone, somewhere, has probably seen her naked and maybe even got a little twinge in the groin while doing so.

Anyone who likes Insane Clown Posse needs help. They are the advocate for white trash everywhere. Even the Klan can get jiggy with that shit. Though without showing me, I probably could have guessed from reading her attempts at English. I LOVE when someone is so fucking stoopid, that he or she actually writes about how BOARD he/she is. That isn't just a typo people. I'll let her slide on the frEInd mistake. Someone tried to tell her I before E and she got very very confused... trying to have IM sex with her brother, she wrote the word PINES and it was all downhill from there (think about it...)

And then I come to the picture of the marijuana leaf, which is both classy, and beautiful. Probably on the fridge, that way she gets to see it 36 times a day. If any of you can decipher the caption she wrote under there, let me know- there is a hefty award, and a job for you somewhere in Kentucky.

Vampirefreaks.com? I can't imagine they would ever make a trenchcoat that large. But she sure has plenty of places to hide weapons....

I was going to continue on... but then I saw that she writes poetry. That shit is deep. I'll end this now, and go be inspired.

Just rememeber, I don't find these people. You sick bastards feed them to me!