a... goodbye kiss?
Face it: some people hook up and never talk again. One night stands, whether intentional or not, happen all the time, especially in my age group. There are tons of reasons the relationship doesn't continue:
Dude is a douchebag, girl is a sloppy bitch, something smelled bad or someone farted, bad kissing, small penis, big vagina, whatever. There are thousands of reasons that can keep a relationship from going past the initial hook up, be it just kissing and cuddling or wild double penetration.
Yet, whether the person stays or not, there is always the awkward "afterwards" stage, when no one really knows what to do, and it's really uncomfortable. Especially if you have to drive the person home. What do you do? Hold hands? Who the fuck wants to hold hands with someone, and not know the other person's last name? Or anything about that person except he was good in bed but he needs deodorant. Or she did that great thing with her tongue but man did she have a gap in her teef. Yes teef. Probably the most awkward point, and my focal point of this whole scenario, is the final kiss. Some people consider kissing extremely intimate. I agree. I think kissing can tell you a lot about a person. How reserved or wild they are, skill level at certain things- I believe you can figure out almost entirely how good someone will be sexually, based solely on their kissing ability. Call me crazy, but you are thinking deep down somewhere that I am probably right.
So what's up with this last kiss? Especially seeing as it is more likely than not, a goodbye kiss. But goodbye forever. Like, "Hey, thanks for the poon you dirty hooker, but your cooter is bigger than a pint glass and smelled like it needed a couple washings. I'll talk to you never". Or, "thanks dude. I know you think you're great in bed, but you got off in about 3 minutes. I only moaned because you have huge balls and they slapped against my ass pretty hard. In fact, it was more of a pain yelp"
Is it obligatory? Do we just not know what else to do? Is that both parties, feigning interest in seeing eachother again? What is the deal with all of this! I WANT ANSWERS! Is the guy trying to be nice, and pretend he isn't a huge douchebag? Give it up, she probably used you just as much if not more than you used her. Unless she said the words "I love you" during the act. Then you should be really nervous and kiss her so you don't lose a testicle, and then change your address and fast. Or does the woman just feel bad, knowing the poor sap is probably all into her now cause she has a bangin body? Please girl, you're like the Cleveland Browns. Nice uniform, ugly helmet. He's kissing you when no one is looking.
All in all, think about it for a second. Depending on how wild a time you may have had- you actually DO know where that mouth has been. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Dude is a douchebag, girl is a sloppy bitch, something smelled bad or someone farted, bad kissing, small penis, big vagina, whatever. There are thousands of reasons that can keep a relationship from going past the initial hook up, be it just kissing and cuddling or wild double penetration.
Yet, whether the person stays or not, there is always the awkward "afterwards" stage, when no one really knows what to do, and it's really uncomfortable. Especially if you have to drive the person home. What do you do? Hold hands? Who the fuck wants to hold hands with someone, and not know the other person's last name? Or anything about that person except he was good in bed but he needs deodorant. Or she did that great thing with her tongue but man did she have a gap in her teef. Yes teef. Probably the most awkward point, and my focal point of this whole scenario, is the final kiss. Some people consider kissing extremely intimate. I agree. I think kissing can tell you a lot about a person. How reserved or wild they are, skill level at certain things- I believe you can figure out almost entirely how good someone will be sexually, based solely on their kissing ability. Call me crazy, but you are thinking deep down somewhere that I am probably right.
So what's up with this last kiss? Especially seeing as it is more likely than not, a goodbye kiss. But goodbye forever. Like, "Hey, thanks for the poon you dirty hooker, but your cooter is bigger than a pint glass and smelled like it needed a couple washings. I'll talk to you never". Or, "thanks dude. I know you think you're great in bed, but you got off in about 3 minutes. I only moaned because you have huge balls and they slapped against my ass pretty hard. In fact, it was more of a pain yelp"
Is it obligatory? Do we just not know what else to do? Is that both parties, feigning interest in seeing eachother again? What is the deal with all of this! I WANT ANSWERS! Is the guy trying to be nice, and pretend he isn't a huge douchebag? Give it up, she probably used you just as much if not more than you used her. Unless she said the words "I love you" during the act. Then you should be really nervous and kiss her so you don't lose a testicle, and then change your address and fast. Or does the woman just feel bad, knowing the poor sap is probably all into her now cause she has a bangin body? Please girl, you're like the Cleveland Browns. Nice uniform, ugly helmet. He's kissing you when no one is looking.
All in all, think about it for a second. Depending on how wild a time you may have had- you actually DO know where that mouth has been. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
posted by official dynasty at
9:49 AM
3 Comments:
Listerine baby.
ok...call me cold but there is no good bye kiss...this isnt a date. a one night stand is for the sole purpose of I'm horny & we're having sex...then you're going to leave (i prefer you either call a cab or take the T) because I'm going to get a sandwitch. I'd invite you to said sandwitch but that would show signs that i care...and i really don't. a good bye kiss only leads the other person to believe that there might be something more there than there really is, when all i really wanted was a quickie and a small italian sub with everything...Ray of fuckin' sunshine
Nothing sucks more than having to spend the night with someone you just had horrible sex with. This is why people should always have a plan of escape before going for that one night stand. I mean lets face it, if you hook up with people enough you are bound to get a bad one now and then, so why not plan in advance rather than having to stick around or have to deal with an “awkward” ride home.
As for a good night kiss after bad sex, why bother? It is not as though the two parties will be seeing each other again, right? So why even bother trying to be polite? If the sex sucked chances are both parties know that already so it usually best to pretend like it never happened and go your separate ways.
It is all a part of the one-night stand etiquette.
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