Pedestrian Murders
Back when I lived in CT I wouldn't see this as much. But it can be the single most annoying, yet seemingly insignificant thing a pedestrian can do. I am speaking, of course, about the Walk signal. While it definitely does have it's significance, those aren't the times that make me want to hop out of my car and strangle the person.
I understand, there are people who cannot cross the street as quickly as others. Physically disabled, older people, stoners, etc. They utilize the walk signal properly and I don't mind waiting the extra 30 seconds for them to cross.
And there are the "mean streets" of downtown Boston where rush hour pretty much mandates the need, less you want to get hit by the wonderful drivers so APTLY named Massholes.
Those aren't the people that get under my skin, no no.
As you all know, the walk signal turns all lights red for a short period of time to allow the otherwise lazy the chance to cross the road. In San Diego, they are a necessary evil. Absolutely no one jaywalks in San Diego. I swear to you, it is pretty creepy. I went there on vacation with a kid from Boston and I was visiting a kid from New York City. I think we walked in front of speeding cars more than we waited. And the homegrowns around there were completely fucking shocked. They wouldn't even follow us, normally jaywalkers will wait for other fellow criminals to begin to cross and follow suit. Not there. Instead they got nervous and looked around for cops. Because, as pathetic as it may seem, you WILL get a ticket for crossing the road without a walk signal in San Diego. For a bunch of seemingly braindead surfers and ex to current hippies, I guess I can understand the need for clear directions and a fair lane of travel to allow the foggy brains time to work. So not only were we dodging traffic, we were dodging Police and causing dismay amongst the locals.
But what happens, when you see someone hit the walk signal, and then fucking cross the road anyway? THAT, IS WHAT I HATE. If you can take the time to hit the walk signal and be a little bitch, you should be fucking stuck in your damn tracks until that little white light telling you "It's okay you big pussy, it is safe enough to cross the road now". People will instinctively run up and hit the walk button any time they come to an intersection. Then they realize, OH , no traffic, check it out! And cross the street while all the lights turn red. At that point there are clear lanes for all the vehicles to go through, and yet none can because of the stupid little bird chirping and No Turn On Red signs. They should be changed to No Turn On Red Unless Some Asshole Hit The Walk Signal And Then Proceeded Anyway signs. People are impatient enough in their vehicles, an extra 20 seconds can be the difference between life and death in our time consumed little worlds. Now everyone is stuck for some fat guy that was afraid he would become road kill so he set down the Mega Gulp on his man boobs and pressed the walk signal, only to open his fat little eyelids and realize there was no one coming IN THE FIRST PLACE! So he lumbered on, realizing no idiot would want to hit him anyway because he would wind up totaling the car anyway.
Again, I have no problem with the elderly, the blind, or the disabled using this button. But the rest of you need to grow the fuck up and learn how to cross the road. Look both ways, and fucking run like hell!
While we're on the subjects of pedestrians and the roadways, what the fuck is up with bicyclists in the city? Last time I checked, sidewalks were invented for this fucking nerds. Yes, if you ride a bike you are a nerd. I'm sorry but it's true. Only BMX can get away with it, they aren't riding for transportation or a lame form of exercise. And they aren't wearing flourescent helments and don't have orange flags flying high above.
Now, what the fuck are these people doing in the road? Disrupting traffic and getting in my way, that's what they are doing. I used to ride a bike, we all did as kids. You know how easy it is to dump one of those. And I'll be damned if some douchebag loses his balance and falls into my car, trying to get some money even if it was an accident. Fuck that! I'll throw my bitch in reverse and go back over him. That way we're all clear, shoulda been off the road. There aren't any cars on the sidewalk, unless it is an episode of Cops. So get out of my way, stop using your gay hand signals, and please, please don't pretend you are a vehicle. Because if we get in an accident, unlike Fatty McGee I spoke of before, my vehicle will always win. There is nothing worse than pulling up to an intersection and suddenly being second in line at a red light to someone on a fucking bicycle, with his hand raised up like an L. That is, nothing worse except being stuck at that red light because of a walk signal, and watching someone trot way past the intersection not being considerate to the hell he or she has just caused in my world.
Thank you.
I understand, there are people who cannot cross the street as quickly as others. Physically disabled, older people, stoners, etc. They utilize the walk signal properly and I don't mind waiting the extra 30 seconds for them to cross.
And there are the "mean streets" of downtown Boston where rush hour pretty much mandates the need, less you want to get hit by the wonderful drivers so APTLY named Massholes.
Those aren't the people that get under my skin, no no.
As you all know, the walk signal turns all lights red for a short period of time to allow the otherwise lazy the chance to cross the road. In San Diego, they are a necessary evil. Absolutely no one jaywalks in San Diego. I swear to you, it is pretty creepy. I went there on vacation with a kid from Boston and I was visiting a kid from New York City. I think we walked in front of speeding cars more than we waited. And the homegrowns around there were completely fucking shocked. They wouldn't even follow us, normally jaywalkers will wait for other fellow criminals to begin to cross and follow suit. Not there. Instead they got nervous and looked around for cops. Because, as pathetic as it may seem, you WILL get a ticket for crossing the road without a walk signal in San Diego. For a bunch of seemingly braindead surfers and ex to current hippies, I guess I can understand the need for clear directions and a fair lane of travel to allow the foggy brains time to work. So not only were we dodging traffic, we were dodging Police and causing dismay amongst the locals.
But what happens, when you see someone hit the walk signal, and then fucking cross the road anyway? THAT, IS WHAT I HATE. If you can take the time to hit the walk signal and be a little bitch, you should be fucking stuck in your damn tracks until that little white light telling you "It's okay you big pussy, it is safe enough to cross the road now". People will instinctively run up and hit the walk button any time they come to an intersection. Then they realize, OH , no traffic, check it out! And cross the street while all the lights turn red. At that point there are clear lanes for all the vehicles to go through, and yet none can because of the stupid little bird chirping and No Turn On Red signs. They should be changed to No Turn On Red Unless Some Asshole Hit The Walk Signal And Then Proceeded Anyway signs. People are impatient enough in their vehicles, an extra 20 seconds can be the difference between life and death in our time consumed little worlds. Now everyone is stuck for some fat guy that was afraid he would become road kill so he set down the Mega Gulp on his man boobs and pressed the walk signal, only to open his fat little eyelids and realize there was no one coming IN THE FIRST PLACE! So he lumbered on, realizing no idiot would want to hit him anyway because he would wind up totaling the car anyway.
Again, I have no problem with the elderly, the blind, or the disabled using this button. But the rest of you need to grow the fuck up and learn how to cross the road. Look both ways, and fucking run like hell!
While we're on the subjects of pedestrians and the roadways, what the fuck is up with bicyclists in the city? Last time I checked, sidewalks were invented for this fucking nerds. Yes, if you ride a bike you are a nerd. I'm sorry but it's true. Only BMX can get away with it, they aren't riding for transportation or a lame form of exercise. And they aren't wearing flourescent helments and don't have orange flags flying high above.
Now, what the fuck are these people doing in the road? Disrupting traffic and getting in my way, that's what they are doing. I used to ride a bike, we all did as kids. You know how easy it is to dump one of those. And I'll be damned if some douchebag loses his balance and falls into my car, trying to get some money even if it was an accident. Fuck that! I'll throw my bitch in reverse and go back over him. That way we're all clear, shoulda been off the road. There aren't any cars on the sidewalk, unless it is an episode of Cops. So get out of my way, stop using your gay hand signals, and please, please don't pretend you are a vehicle. Because if we get in an accident, unlike Fatty McGee I spoke of before, my vehicle will always win. There is nothing worse than pulling up to an intersection and suddenly being second in line at a red light to someone on a fucking bicycle, with his hand raised up like an L. That is, nothing worse except being stuck at that red light because of a walk signal, and watching someone trot way past the intersection not being considerate to the hell he or she has just caused in my world.
Thank you.
posted by official dynasty at
5:44 PM
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